I came across a list of Do’s and Don’ts of “How to be a woman” today. This article was written from a secular perspective, but I found that there were some Biblical principles involved. I would like to share that with you but first off let me explain the process that led me to writing this article…


There I was, minding my own businness checking out another blog. I made a simple comment about the article and what do you know… a small debate ensued. So what got everyone in an uproar? Let me tell you. John at RWN posted an article written by Right Thinking Girl entitled “How to be a woman”. I then made the following comment:

This is a great list. Outside of some of the profanity, you'd be surprised that much of this list is very Biblical in nature.

As to Wino and Murtha, they wouldn't be happy if they didn't have something to moan and bewail…by More_Than_Right on 2006-06-14 11:21:51

Then a poster by the name of President Freeman spoke up. Here is his statement and my response:

Hmm… interesting. I was just thinking that part of the reason I really like this list is because it is about mutual respect, not Biblical misogyny (granted, Paul seems to have invented a level of misogyny all his own, a trait we never see in Christ).by President_Friedman on 2006-06-14 11:40:40

Hey Pres… The Bible is full of respect and protection for women. In fact the Bible places some hefty penalties on those who would harm a women, ie misogyny.

I’m sure that you’ll pull up some reference that will be taken out of context to try to prove otherwise…by More_Than_Right on 2006-06-14 11:51:40 

Now, I admit that I was a bit argumentative with that last sentence. The Pres. went on to say… 

and I honestly didn't mean that last comment to be inflammatory… I just strongly disagree that RWG's suggestions are Biblical (modern Christian, maybe… but certainly not Biblical).by President_Friedman on 2006-06-14 11:43:37

Which was followed up by Wino…

I need to find where in the bible it says, "whereth thy shortest skirt soeth thou might be seen as thy village's whore"
by Wino on 2006-06-14 11:59:36

To which I replied…

You won’t find it… actually women are supposed to dress modestly and not try to entice men sexually. Men don’t need much help in that area anyway… Then after marriage and only for their own husbands they are supposed to be available in every sense of the word. In fact neither husband or wife is to defraud their spouse of their bodies.

My body belongs to my wife and her body belongs to me.

For what it’s worth, I said most of the list not all, and you know very well that you misrepresented my post.

As to the biblical perspective I will be posting on my blog (I’m sure that you don’t want this to be turned into a Bible study here) later today the comparisons. I’ll let you know when it’s done.by More_Than_Right on 2006-06-14 12:17:36

So, it is the intent of this article to show our readers that the list in question does have some Biblical merit. To see the unedited version (I cleaned some of it up for the sake of this blog and changed the order to group points in similar categories) you may go here.

On to the list… 

* Do not nag him. He doesn’t need to hear your whiney little voice complaining about something he doesn’t want to change. Just sssshhh!

* Dress like a girl. They like us because we’re girls, not miniature boys.

Titus 2:
3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

* Never, ever talk badly about your man. Whatever fight you had, it’s between you two. Don’t tell your girlfriends, your boss, or God forbid, your mother.

* Don’t embarrass him in front of his friends. There’s a social order to everything and if you bark at him in front of his friends, it emasculates him. Treat him like the prince he is, even if you’re seething with rage.

Regarding a virtuous woman:

Proverbs 12:
4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

Excerpts from Proverbs 31:
10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.


23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

**The word "gates" is referring to a seat of authority in the city. He has a good report partially because the wife speaks good of him and is a good testimony.


26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

** Kind words… kind words…

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

** She’s not a lazy slouch sleeping all day

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

** Well look at that. I praise my wife constantly, and she is honored by our children

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

** That she does… I am blessed with the best!

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

** Looks like hubby isn’t the only one receiving praise in the gates.

* Men don’t like complainers, especially if there is nothing to be done about it. Guys want to help, and if you give him a problem he can’t solve (ie, you have blisters and there’s no bandaids and you refuse to take off your shoes) it makes him feel like a failure.

* PMS is not an excuse to be mean to him. Don’t be short with him or be rude. Nicely tell him you feel bad and you’re much more likely to get what you need.

* Do not be a strident, anti-man voice screeching at him that he’s oppressing you. Men don’t like women who don’t like them. They also don’t like seeing their babies aborted but most of them are so terrified of the whole thing, they go along with it to keep you happy. Their fears are justified, but they need to stand up for themselves.

Proverbs 21:
9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Proverbs 25:
24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.

Proverbs 27:
15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

* Seduce him. Often. He’ll feel awesome and that can only be good for both of you.

* Work out. They like our bods for a reason. Give them lots of reasons.

I Corinthians 7:
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

** My body is my wife’s and my wife’s body is mine. We seek to please each other in everything.

Well you probably get the point by now… The key thing is that we should endeavor to be what our spouses need us to be, and by that I obviously mean within the realm of morality. My Wife completes me. I am not whole with out her.

This article did not address the man’s responsibility in the relationship, but suffice it to say that there is plenty of scripture that could be addressed on that subject, that however is for another time.

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